Monday, June 29, 2009

On Shaming Language:

Hiya! It is time to discuss one of our enemy's most used and more powerful (but not most powerful) weapons, Shaming Language.

Shaming Language is any kind of insult meant to shut you up, first and foremost. It isn't to add to the discussion, it's not to explore new angles of the problem, it is to cause you shame and to cause you to give up.

Shaming Language is a very poor way to choose to "win" an argument, but it has been shown to be effective to those not expecting it, especially if they don't have a few minutes to ponder what's really going on. Remember, it doesn't add anything to the discussion, it's an assault on your character that if not prepared for, you could end up believing.

Shaming Language is really more like several types of such interjections, and it comes in all forms, both slightly flattering to you, and very very hostile, new forms are probably trying to be made everyday, but ever since it's first usage, we've been on the upperhand, countering it at every move. Our motives are just, and our movement is good, never forget what you're fighting for.

I've read many influential posts, but this is one of the most powerful I've ever read about actually taking them down, or at least one of their advantages. The link is from dumpyourwifenow.com, but it could've been from somewhere else first, I don't know, however, if the writer is who I think he is, it's meant for all to see regardless.

http://www.dumpyourwifenow.com/2007/03/01/the-anti-male-shaming-tactics-catalog/

It's a long read, and I considered just pasting it here, but I figure things will be more manageable this way. If it disappears one day, I have a back up to make sure it survives.

Now that you've read (most or more) of it, it is time to comment:

I like how it's very specific about the direction of both incoming attack, and why it doesn't matter, how it isn't true, and the perfectly logical response to such language. It lists every tactic I've seen used in such a way, though I'd like to see them developing something against the "kindness" technique they are using; the one where (basically) they "agree" with your position, and say that we should "work together".

Make no mistake, these people are not on your side, my side, or anyone who supports the rights of Men, it's merely a way to try to get you to support their side while they give yours lip service, of course after they "allegiantly" debunk most of your serious issues and claim to support the smaller ones.

Remember, Shaming Language is something said to put YOU on the defensive, giving them the initiative. I remember reading a post that put that very eloquently, I shall try to find it for next time.

I know I can put that into better words eventually, with examples, but for now the post is going up.

7 comments:

  1. For those who MIGHT (but I'm not holding my breath) be wondering why I haven't posted in a while, it's a combination of things; I write parts of posts often, and of many different posts (I have 2 unfinished on standby right now), and I sometimes like to absorb information, rather than dispense it. If any of my favorite bloggers (there's more than on my list, which I'll add when I remember) have something to say, I'll read that before I write anything, usually.

    As you can expect, this post is a result of few people writing in the last few days, at least to my knowledge, or they wrote shorter pieces than usual.

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  2. "Shaming Language is really more like several types of such interjections, and it. . . ."

    I like where you are going with this post, but I'm having some trouble following the grist in the paragraph that begins with the bit cited above. Maybe I'm a bit slow, but. . . perhaps it is best not to aim above the heads the masses?

    Just a little constructive crit; something for you to chew on. . :)

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  3. No, I write as I think, and I think a bit faster (and more reaching) than my fingers can keep up with. Which is why if I write something in one go like this, it'll end up with many subjects in the same paragraph and things not fitting right...

    But...how would you write this?

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  4. Hmmm. You're just the opposite of me. Normally, I work on every sentence until it is "perfect". Then I write a few more. Finally, I go back to the beginning and correct the first part so it is perfect in contetxt to what I wrote later.

    I also read the work out loud, so I know how it might sound from a "pulpit". ;) I try to select words that will glide off my tongue as smoothly as possible. Sometimes the difference is very small, but still I pay close attention. . .

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  5. Hmmm. You're just the opposite of me. Normally, I work on every sentence until it is "perfect". Then I write a few more. Finally, I go back to the beginning and correct the first part so it is perfect in contetxt to what I wrote later.

    In addition, I will often read the work out loud, to hear know how it might sound from a "pulpit". ;) I try to select words that will glide off my tongue as smoothly as possible. Sometimes the difference is very small, but still I pay close attention. . .

    _______________________

    Note the small variation between this version and the one above, at the beginning of the second paragraph. I consider this an improvement. Anyway, it gives an idea how obsessive I can be about perfection! ;)

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  6. Correction: in the comment directly above, substitute "hear how" for "hear know how".

    I had decided that "hear" was a better choice than "know", but somehow I forgot to expunge the latter. :(

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  7. I'm peeking over from Anti-Feminist Tech's blog and found this post to be very interesting. The list you linked to makes many of the insults that I've seen aimed at men
    on MRA/MGTOW blogs make much more sense now. Both men and women who disagree with the ideas being presented never fail to recycle the same insults amongst themselves, when, as you stated, they add nothing to the conversation and oftentimes make no sense at all.

    The list does miss one shaming tactic I've seen around in which a man is told his thoughts and perspective are invalid or inappropriate due to his age. (And no, I'm not just bringing this up due to the comments on that other blog ;o)). On numerous occasions I've seen men my age or just a bit older told that they aren't seeing the world correctly simply due to their youthful age and thus are talking crazy talk, rather than real issues that effect their lives. As if statistics, laws, court decisions, and so forth do not prove their points and turn their experiences from anecdotes to reality that should wisely be accepted as fact and the state of the world we live in today, with regards to the "gender war" and mens rights issues.

    Certainly the lengthier life experience afforded by age begets wisdom but how else does a young person gain such wisdom or make their way in life without looking to the world around them and letting their experiences, mistakes, and triumphs shape them into the person they become throughout their lifetime? A young man should not be made to feel inadequate or inferior simply for looking at his world and coming to conclusions based off what he sees....

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